Ｍａｔｔ Ｄａｍｏｎ 太好笑

其實我就是很遜的看了６年前的
Ｔｈｅ　Ｂｏｕｒｎｅ　Ｉｄｅｎｔｉｔｙ，
我之前對這部一直沒興趣，
以為它很蠢，
結果還好，應該說不錯，
但是還是有那種患難見真情，只好做愛的部份，
有夠荷里活。

我一直以為麥特戴蒙很矮，
其實還好，
有１７８，
可能是他長的太寬厚了。

總之，
我就查了他，
就發現了"I' m fucking Matt Damon"


真是太可笑了，
這件事我現在才發現，
相當可惜。

會出現這支影片是有前因的，
簡單來說，
這是Matt報復脫口秀主持人Jimmy Kimmel的奇招，
因為Jimmy都在節目快結束時才介紹來賓Matt，
然後再說些 " apologies to Matt Damon, we ran out of time"之類的賤話。


影片中的女人是Jimmy的女友Sarah Silverman。




我還特別找了歌詞，


Sarah Silverman: Hey Jimmy it' s me. I' m in ahh, a hotel. I don't know. I've been on the road so long. I..I don't even know what city I'm in any more to be honest. Anyway, I've been thinking about you a lot, and ahh, I've been needing to tell you something. I don't know why I haven't but it's important, I mean we've been together for so long, over 5 years, and I still haven't told you and it's just not right, so here it goes.

SS: I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: I’m sorry but it’s true
SS: I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: I’m not imaging it’s you

SS: I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: On the bed, on the floor
　　On a towel by the door,
　　In the tub, in the car,
　　Up against the mini-bar

SS: I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: While you’re drinking diet Snapple
SS: I said I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: She said she’s fucking Matt Damon
MD: Hey Kimmel, how do you like them apples?
Get it? Cause, cause I am talking about her breasts
SS: Yeah. it's funny

SS: Hey Jim, don’t take it bad
　Remember all the good times we had
　Like the time we went fishing
　And we caught a bunch of fish
　Then you puked in the bucket
　On the fish that we caught

Girls: Knock knock!
Boys: Who’s that knocking at my door?
Girls: Amfa!
Boys: Amfa who?
Girls: I’m fucking Matt Damon
Boys: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: Analyze!
Everyone: F-U-C-K Matt D-A-M-O-N. I said F-U-C-K Matt D-A-M-O-N

SS: I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: And you know that I ain’t lying
SS: I said I’m fucking Matt Damon
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: Ask The Insider’s Pat O’Brien
The Insider' s Pat O' Brien: It's true, The Insider has confirmed that
she is in fact fucking Matt Damon

SS: Last week when I was playing Scrabble with you online,
I was fucking Matt Damon
MD: You went back and forth to do your show and Regis and Kelly's show,
she was DEFINITELY fucking Matt Damon
SS: I told you I was fucking Matt Damon? I WAS fucking Matt Damon.

SS: On the bed, on the floor
　On a towel by the door,
　In the tub, in the car,
　Up against the mini-bar
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
SS: She’s fucking Matt Damon
MD: She’s fucking Matt Damon
Sarah Silverman: I love L.A.!

SS: So, that's it! umm! I think I was clear?
MD: No, you did great.
SS: Oohh, it was okay.
MD: Pretty damn good.
SS: Ummm, anyway! umm, you know,
we had a great run Jim and ahhh,
I hope there's no hard feelings, I hope we can be friends.
I'm friends with all my boyfriends, my old boyfriends.
If anything isn't clear or you need closure of some kind,
please please call my publicist Amy Zvi at BNCPR. So take care
MD: You know what? Stop right there.
Jimmy we're out of time! sorry.
SS: You are soo bad!
MD: A little bit, let's put that guitar down and go fuck Matt Damon!
See ya Jimmy.




接著，
就是Ｊｉｍｍｙ的報復了，
這支是"I'm fucking Ben Affleck"，
Ｂｅｎ　和　Ｍａｔｔ是非常要好的朋友，
這是眾所皆知，
這支比上支更華麗、更大陣仗，
就是眾星雲集啊。











Jimmy Kimmel: Oh, Hi Sarah. It’s been a long time.

I guess you’ve been…busy with…Matt Damon.

I’ve been busy too. I’ve been thinking about us,

and you and him and, I’m happy for you. I really am.

He’s a great guy. I mean he’s the sexiest man alive.

I found somebodye pretty sexy too. I don’t know if you’ve heard,

but…I’m fucking Ben Affleck!
Ben Affleck: He’s fucking Ben Affleck.
Jimmy Kimmel: While you and Matt are swappin’ spit.

I said I’m fucking Ben Affleck!
Ben Affleck: He said he’s fucking Ben Affleck.

Hey Sarah, he’s got bigger tits.
Jimmy Kimmel: They’re not hairy though, right?
Ben Affleck: No…
Brad Pitt: Excuse me…Is someone here…fucking Ben Affleck?
Jimmy Kimmel: I am! I’m fucking him!
Brad Pitt: Great, sign here.
Jimmy Kimmel: Thank you. [Reads cake] Congratulations on fucking Ben Affleck.
Crowd & Ben: Ahhhh….
Brad Pitt: What did you wish for?
Jimmy Kimmel & Ben Affleck: When we’re together there’s this feeling inside.

It’s like a million butterflies flutterin’ in my behind.

I love the dimples in your chin, I see diamonds in your eyes.

When I’m fucking you Ben Affleck I feel like I can fly.

And our fucking won’t be stopped no matter how hard they try.
Ben Affleck: They can’t stop it.
Jimmy Kimmel: They can’t stop it.
Joan Jett: You won’t tear them apart.

You can’t stop this love affair, cause they love f-u-c-k-i-n-g.
Robin Williams: This is not a man crush. He’s fucking our friend Ben.
Don Cheadle: And so we all…we all hope Matt will understand…
Everyone: He’s fucking Ben
Pete Wentz & Dominic Monaghan: Fucking Ben Affleck
Perry Farrell: Yeah, Jimmy’s the one who’s fucking Ben Affleck like they’re in prison.
Everyone: Just like prison.
Macy Gray: He’s fucking Ben…Ben Affleck’s his guy.
Joel Madden and Benji Madden: Oh, it’s through the fucking night and day…
Lance Bass: Just ask Huey!
Cameron Diaz: Okay, I’ll ask him Huey, did you see them fuck at all?
Huey Luis: Yes, I saw them fuck. They were in a bathroom stall.
Josh Groban: Oooohhh ooohhhh oohhh he’s fucking Ben,

fucking Ben Affleck. He’s fuuuucking Bennnn!
Everyone: He’s fucking Ben. He’s fucking Ben Affleck!
Christopher Mintz-Plasse: Jimmy’s the one who’s fucking Ben Affleck like they’re in prison!
Meatloaf & Everyone: He’s fucking Ben. Ben Affleck’s his guy!
Joel Madden and Benji Madden: Do the fucking every way.
Dicky Barrett: Just ask Don Cheadle!
Don Cheadle: Ooohhhh ooohhh ooohhh he’s fucking Ben.
Everyone: He’s fucking Ben Affleck!
[Harrison Ford blows a kiss to Ben and Jimmy]
Everyone: Jimmy’s the one who’s fucking Ben Affleck like they’re in prison.
Christina Applegate & Rebecca Romijn: Just like prison!
Everyone: He’s fucking Ben! Fucking Ben Affleck.

Jimmy’s the one who’s fucking Ben Affleck like they’re in prison.

He’s fucking Ben. Ben Affleck’s his guy!
Huey Luis & Cameron Diaz: They’ve been making sweet sweet love, Ben and Jimmy!
Josh Groban: That was pretty fuckin’ good.





他們怎麼這麼開的起玩笑。


還有這個，
我搞不太清楚裡面的那個Ｇｕｉｌｌｅｒｍｏ是誰，
但是應該跟Ｊｉｍｍｙ有關係吧，
他出現在包恩第三集，
好蠢。